Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Not a dream, just sadness and reflection.

Daddy died last year.  A week after the 4th of July. We were semi-estranged.  I spoke to him on the phone a few times.  I sent him a cake for Father's Day/birthday and then I sent him postcards from Yellowstone.  I told him I loved him and wished he were there.

A week after I returned home, I got a message that he had died.  He was battling lung cancer and hadn't told me.  He went to bed feeling good and never woke up.  I still cry when I think about it.

We were not speaking for a long time because I transferred the title to a house I owned to him.  He gave the house to his step daughter to live in for 4 years rent free.  The mortgage was still in my name.  I remember he called me and said if I wanted to save the house I needed to pay 12k in 24 hours or the house is under foreclosure.  There were only 10 yrs left to the loan but I couldn't come up with the money in 24 hours.  If only I had a week, I could have.  I asked him why he didn't tell me, and he got angry with me and told me "I will cloud up and rain all over you if you keep asking me about it", and he blamed me for selling the house to him.  His wife was angry as well and accused me of selling the house illegally.  I have no idea where that comes from seeing as my original real estate agent helped me to transfer title to my Dad even though I had total responsibility for the loan.

We didn't speak for 15 years. I would have forgiven him if he just asked.  My Mom told me to call Daddy, and I did.  We talked a few times and I wrote him a few times.  Then he died.

We were always very close until he got so nasty over the house.  Daddy was always trying to make it rich.  He was a physicist and he always made good money.  But that wasn't what he wanted.  He wanted to be rich.  My Mom and Daddy divorced in the 80s.  Daddy married into the Goddi family.  Yes, the mafia family.  He married John Goddi's niece.  He worked for the Goddi family for a few years.  Not in a good way.

Recently I have been thinking of Daddy.  I truly mourn him. I am happy to know he received my postcards.  I am not accepted by his new family.  I guess I am an evil monster.  Oh well.

He would do pretty much anything for money.  He told me that on day we were having lunch together when I was 17.  He used to pick me up from school and take me to lunch for an hour or so.  I loved the time we spent together.  I was a real Daddy's girl.  We used to plot how to rob banks and the like.  I smile just thinking about it.

He started working for the Ministry of War in Saudi Arabia.  He worked all over the world, but he liked Saudi, almost as much as the African nations he worked in.  He preferred Africa over North America.    He always said after 6 months in Africa, all those white faces in the US was intimidating.
I like that.  I think I would love Africa.

While he was in Saudi Arabia, he had several people interested in purchasing me.  It was all over a pic of me he carried all the time.  I am very blond and almost Barbie shaped when young.  He totally refused to even consider when a couple of Saudi govt men got in a bidding war for me.  It started at
a half million.

Daddy always said he would not be responsible for an international incident, and he would never be able to return to the US.  He held dual citizenship.

This would have been a big haul for him. at least a million tax free dollars.   He wouldn't even entertain the notion.  I would have gone anywhere he asked.  I was very trusting.

My Daddy loved me after all!